My Task, My Privilege, My Joy

Another formation year will end tomorrow, March 15, 2008. It means I have been a minor seminary formator for 3 years - 1 year as an acting Rector and 2 years as full-time Rector of my very own beloved alma mater, sometimes referred to as one of the best "barangay schools" in the whole country! LET ME SHARE SOME RANDOM INSIGHTS...

Seminary rectorship is my ministry/mission , my task, my privilege, my joy, my responsibility, my lesson, my burden, my contribution to the church. First and foremost, I have to acknowledge that my being the Rector of OLPS is not a right nor a well-deserved position for the contrary is what I truly feel. I feel so undeserving and sometimes incompetent to handle the said office. Nevertheless I accept the challenge for basically this is the ministry/mission entrusted to me now.

It is my task. And my task is to form young men develop themselves and their love for the priesthood (in line with the vision of the seminary.)

It is my privilege. Unworthy though I am, I am privileged to make a difference in the life and the vision of young mind and hearts. A privilege (I feel) similar to what God bestowed on me when God chose me to be His priest.

It is my joy. I always believe that doing God's work is its own reward -- I am joy-filled that despite my weaknesses and shortcomings, God, the Bishop, the Clergy of Sorsogon, the parents of the seminarians, the seminarians themselves (as if they had a choice....hehehe), they trusted me -- my person! What a great affirmation!

It is my responsibility. Aaaaahhh. If possible take off this yoke upon my shoulder.

It is my lesson. One of the best lessons I have learned during this school year "was taught" to me by the seminarian's parents! As I observed them, during general assemblies, during weekly visits, and during special seminary gatherings, they really showed their love and concern for their sons. And even during casual conversations with them, I sensed their deep love and concern for their sons. For them the words of St. Augustine echo and come to life, allow me to rephrase; "for someone who loves, nothing is too heavy to bear; and if there are pains and difficulties, they are loved and they become easier to bear.." I hope I would be embraced by such disposition. I pray I would be gifted with that intense love for the seminarians.

It is my burden. The things I have done, am doing, and will be doing, I always believe, had, have, and will create a difference in the life of people. And the things I failed to do will definitely leave its mark too. This is the "burden" that I carry, I can either make or break people's lives. Especially with the malleability of the personalities of the seminarians, I am careful (as much as possible) with how I conduct myself in front of them. At the same time, I try to show them the real me for it will be very difficult and not healthy for me to wear masks, for eventually, in the end I will be just fooling myself and there may come a time when I will fail to recognize my true self.

Finally, it is my mere contribution to the Church. So help me God.

The beauty of what I am experiencing today roots on the interplay of the apparent contraries, of the positive and negative feelings, of the joy and the burden, of the privilege and the unworthiness, of the demand for gentleness and firmness, but most importantly, on the interplay of the human and the Divine elements.

I am contented with how I am living my life and am glad that I am sharing it with this particular seminary community.